The Grand Narrative

(Photo by David Light Orchard)

And here is the first of those links I mentioned in my last post. But you know me…I can’t just leave it at “here’s an interesting article, I think [one line opinion], have a nice day, bye,” and hence the cutting and pasting of the entire thing (much more sophisticated), searching for suitable pictures, and brief (for me) commentary. Having said that, I’ll restrain myself from providing the next link until tomorrow Sunday. Not only would I like to start writing posts of a length that people actually read, but I really need to study Korean much more for the TOPIK test on April the 20th. I haven’t quite been studying the 3 hours a day as I said I would, and if I’m going to pass level 5, I really need to immerse myself in Korean right now. From experience, 7 weeks certainly sounds like a lot of time to prepare, but in practice it goes very quickly.

If this article makes you more interested in the phenomenon of living away from home before marriage in Korea, then you may be interested in reading my previous posts on it here, here and here, where I discuss pretty much all social, sexual and economic aspects of it. I won’t be returning to the topic myself until May, but of course I’m still interested in readers’ thoughts and opinions on it in the meantime.

70 Percent of Singles Want Independence From Parents

By Bae Ji-sook
Staff Reporter

Children living with their parents until their wedding used to be something few questioned until recently. This no longer holds true. A survey showed that a growing number of young people want to be independent from their parents before they tie the knot.

Online recruiting company www.saramin.co.kr said that 71 percent of 820 singles said they would like to move out from home. About half said they needed time to themselves and a place to be on their own; 16.1 percent felt they were too old to be with their parents and 12.3 percent wanted to live closer to their workplace.

Ten percent highlighted avoiding conflict with their parents, while 5.7 percent said their moving out reflects their desire to lessen their parents’ burden of having to support them.

Asked what is most needed for independence, 33 percent of the respondents answered “regular income.” Strict self-management, a stable job, sufficient savings or investment and property were several their must-have-items for the singles.

Of those surveyed, 43 percent were already living on their own.

In regard to difficulties, 54 percent said loneliness was their biggest struggle. Having to bear the financial burden, having to cook meals and do the house chores as well as keeping oneself in shape and healthy marred the fun of being alone.

The 57 percent not living alone said they haven’t yet moved out because mostly they could not afford it (46.9 percent) or they felt no need to (16.6 percent). Some 12 percent said their parents would not allow this “independence” while 10.2 percent preferred to live with them.

(Photo by Leslie Jeanne)

Given what I’ve said about the topic already, then naturally I call BS on just about every aspect of the article. Of course, Korea by no means has a monopoly on unrepresentative, biased polls and surveys, but the Korean media is already notorious for its soundbites and populism, and its English-language media in particular seems to describe the world as reporters would like it be, as opposed to how it actually is. I admit, this last trend may not be applicable here: it’s obvious why Korean sources would exaggerate the success of the “Korean Wave” (한류) overseas, for instance, but why would they claim that Koreans no longer want to live with their parents before marriage? To make Koreans sound more liberal and socially progressive to Western readers? That may well be reading too much into it. Nevertheless, I don’t think I can trust a single point the article makes. In particular:

• “A survey of 820 singles.” How were the singles found? Was it a survey sent to random singles signed up on the company’s site, or was it, much more likely I think, 820 responses to questions posted on the homepage? People who actively respond to a question are not representative of a population as a whole. That’s not to say that the results of the “survey” aren’t true, but at best they’d only be true for the people who responded to it. By the simple act of doing so, they indicate they’re interested in the issue, and by that interest, much more likely to have liberal views on it. At least in this case. Confucian scholars and retirees, say, with equally strong conservative views on it, aren’t very likely to be checking out recruting companies’ websites. 
• “71 percent…said they would like to move out of home.” This means very little. For instance, in a recent survey of my friends and family online on Skype as I type this, 66% said they would like to drink less and exercise more…but that doesn’t mean that they can or will. As I explain in my previous posts on the subject, there are considerable financial and social pressures preventing Koreans from leaving home before marriage, and wanting to move out of home is not quite the same as standing up to your parents’ threats to disown you, say, by doing so. “Good” sons, and especially daughters, are not supposed to want to leave home as soon as they can, and heaven forbid that they have sex in their own beds, as opposed to love hotels.
• “43 percent were already living on their own.” WTF?! Who? Where? Sure, many university students live in dormitories if their parents live in a different city (although usually relatives’ houses are preferred), and graduates too sometimes get a job in other cities. But I’ve known a lot of Koreans in my 8 years here, and while I admit I’ve known many who, for example, lived alone when they spent a year in Japan as an exchange student, they lived at home again as soon as they returned. In total, I’ve only known of two who lived away from home by choice rather than circumstance, and both were very assertive, confident, and independent people, unfortunately atypical characteristics for most Koreans. I accept that my personal experience may not be representative, and that figures for this sort of thing are a little difficult to come by, but I seriously doubt that more than 10% of unmarried, Korean 20-somethings are living away from home at any one time. 

In recent months, I’ve been critical of bloggers and netizens and so forth that generalize too much about Koreans, but I’ll still call a spade a spade when the situation demands. To sum up those previous posts of mine, it is extremely difficult for young Koreans to find the money to live away from home because of the structure of the real estate and service industries here, and so most early-20 somethings have to reconcile themselves to living at home regardless of how much they may want freedom. They usually do so so successfully that, once they have jobs and financial independence in their mid-20s, most don’t suddenly have a burning desire to leave the nest. Hence, while Korean social and sexual mores are indeed changing very rapidly, if you can’t afford to live away from home…then you can’t afford it, it’s as simple as that. 43% of young Koreans may well have visited love hotels with partners, but 43% live away from home? Does this sound like the Korea you know?

I don’t want to discourage readers’ comments on all the above, quite the opposite, but please do read those previous posts of mine if you feel I’m generalising too much myself. That first one, after all, is over 5000 words long, and justifiably, so you can forgive me for not wanting to repeat myself in this post here!

Before I forget, thanks to Kimchi for Breakfast for passing on the original article to me back in January.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::